Trapper and Emmeline: Free on Amazon

He’s a recovering good guy. She’s maxing life on borrowed time.

Trapper and Emmeline is free today and tomorrow (7/19-7/20) for Kindle on Amazon! For the cost of a few mouse clicks, you get a $3.99, 168-page story full of sex, public displays of affection, insecurity, teasing, exhibitionism, stranger-play, email arguments, girlfriend-sharing, groping, inappropriate Facebook pictures, kissing, sexy-clothing rules, turned-on roommates, young-girl-old-man seduction, a penis named Zeus, love, cancer… and romance.

In Chapter 1 of Trapper and Emmeline we see:

  • Trapper trying to pick up a hot Russian girl… and fail miserably. The only good thing you can say is that he didn’t catch fire and explode.
  • Emmeline playing with the top buttons of her blouse… they are too tight and she can pop them open whenever she wants. She likes to see the men around her convulse.
  • Emmeline giving a presentation to her Cold War History class, where all her classmates gawk. The boys are rapt, the girls are incredulous.
  • A topless photo of Emmeline is posted on Facebook by Trapper’s idiot roommates. Outrage spirals through her social network, but Emmeline is excited to finally have a scandal. Old acquaintances, employers, and male friends come out of the woodwork to FB-friend her and offer comfort.
  • Emmeline and Trapper cutting holes in her jeans… They try to capture the Drug/Thrash Chic of the East Village, and go overboard. Pleasant side-effects:
    1. Emmeline gets free drinks at the bar all night
    2. She gets nothing but positive feedback from every man she meets (but what’s new)
    3. She has a wonderful, confirming, and validating night of which she will remember nothing (see step 1 about the free drinks).

And that is the first day that Trapper and Emmeline are dating!

Thanks for the Amazon review!! Totally worth it!

Get the book free today. And if you like it and post a review on Amazon, I will have your babies. Or if you’re in a hurry and can’t wait for gestation, I will send you a Google image search link to a picture of someone giving birth. You’re welcome. (Dear FBI, no babies will be trafficked. That was humor.)

Is Emmeline too awesome for our world?

She isn’t! Trapper and Emmeline is indeed a work of fiction, but it’s built partially out of true experiences that I have exaggerated to an incredible degree in my brain over the years. I’m a natural-born liar… but there is truth at the bottom of every lie.

Do real live men and women Emmelines exist? Sure they do! Manhattan, for example, is a great place to find that precise Emmeline cocktail: inappropriate clothing, insecure urges to stand out from crowds, and huge crowds to disappear into. Here is a short list that proves Emmeline Has A Possé.

Abandoned start to this blog posting:

Today is a big day in the Lindseyverse. We have turned on the Large Lindsron Collider and reversed the polarity of the Bedder-strings that knit our imaginative Flinchspace together. Lindseyverse scientists in short skirts have long wondered how ebookium got all its spunk, and they discovered a sub-lindseytomic-particle  called free-mium! With Trapper and Emmeline now irradiated with free-mium, there is an endless quantity of spunk to spread around.

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