Topless Book Club Lives My Art

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You know you’re getting old when some of your most prized and adventurous moments from your 20’s can now be accomplished in a fucking reading circle.

Meet the Outdoor Co-ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society. My awesome Facebook buddy K.Z., who might just know my work better than I do, sent me this HuffPo link to a story about a 95% female book club that meets around Manhattan, goes topless, and reads books together.

Read on for more book club (NSFW)… Continue reading

Jenny Scordamaglia: More than the Queen of TV Nipslips

When I originally posted about Jenny Scordamaglia for the Emmeline’s Possé I thought she was a goofy, funny, sexy oddity. I was proud to have ‘discovered’ her in an internet full of hotties jockeying for attention.

Believe it or not, it’s hard to find new members for the possé — they can’t merely be attractive and prone to nipslips. They have to have something more going on. Jenny Scordamaglia is a good example: She’s sweet, charismatic, committed to her beliefs, and a fabulous interviewer. Obvious possé material.

It turns out I completely underestimated the scale of her… extroversion. She’s a phenomenon!

If you can resist a nipslip, it's a "nopeslip."

If you can resist a nipslip, it’s a “nopeslip.”

Here’s the angle: Jenny Scordamaglia dresses like a phone sex advertisement, but she chats you up like Ellen Degeneris. Whether you’re at the Cool Car Expo or Art Basel Miami, when she zooms through your eye-line with her microphone and a thousand-watt smile, you drop your jaw. When she puts you in front of the camera, you’re charmed and bedazzled.

In her videos, her subjects forget everything going on below her chin. Once, one of her interview subjects posted a video link on his Facebook page. His friend commented: “Good job keeping your eyes up!” and “Maintaining eye contact like a boss.”

Watch a few more videos: You might just begin to admire American manhood. She’s a walking neural-elasticity test. She’s what happens when your wet dream suddenly slaps you in the face and asks, “What motivates your creative process?” All that American manhood can do in this situation is disengage the babymaker circuit, and answer.

Is Jenny Scordamaglia the Queen of Nipslips?

Recently a Miami blog found the courage to ask Jenny Scordamaglia the hard questions nobody really wondered about:

Girl, do you know what’s going on?

Answer: She does.

So where’s the healthy dose of body shame?

Answer: It’s just my body. It’s just anatomy. These are just nipples.

Why don’t you use double-backed tape?

Answer: It gets messy and doesn’t work. (I bet more men wished more women agreed!)

The blog post doesn’t ask the crucial question: Does Jenny Scordamaglia go commando in those tiny skirts? Lucky for you, there is a broad scholarship on this subject. The unauthorized “highlight reels” come and go, but they’re not hard to find! Here are two links that will probably break soon:

You might as well go ahead and subscribe to her youtube channel or follow her on Twitter. You might click for the nipslips and the short skirts, but you stay because she’s simply awesome. (Via MiamiNewTimes Blog.)

Need inspiration?

Here are my erotic stories about sexy, public women.

See all my books.

 

Virginia Flowers’s romantic new novel “Showing Off”

We sit down with author Virginia Flowers and peek up her skirt for insights into her sexy new romance novel.

Virginia Flowers is an award-winning, high-producing erotica and erotic-romance author with a long list of stories to her name. You could disappear into her backlist for days, and then emerge with wild eyes, disheveled clothes, and a dozen new imaginary friends—because her characters are so relatable and interesting you want them to really exist.

Her most recent novel is a sweet, sexy new erotic romance, Showing Off. It’s striking a chord with readers, because when she ran a special promotion, it rocketed to fourth place (picture link!) on the free list for its Amazon category in under three days. Moreover, it did this with only one reader review! Granted, that review was from a top Amazon reviewer, who gave it a strong thumbs up.

I sat down with Virginia to ask her a few questions about her amazing success.

Phallic Flowers

Flowers puts on a sexy show. Hunnnng.

LFB: I hate you, Virginia. Your success makes me angry.

VF: Yes. I feel the hate flowing through you. Come embrace the dark side, young writer.

LFB: In Showing Off, the heroine (and my new best friend) Erica pulls herself together after a broken marriage. To help her along, she has a band of attractive, high-achieving suitors trying to capture her attention. She has fun with them, sure, but she’s also on a path of self-discovery. What is it that makes Erica tick?

VF: One of the things I wanted to do with Erica was take a character who was already very strong woman in her personal life and introduce her to situations that are well outside her norm, to put her off balance and see just how she reacts.

That path of discovery coincided nicely with a reconnection with her need for companionship (not just sexual of course, though that plays a strong role in this novel). So we get to really see how this woman starts out strong, goes through this period of reflection and self-discovery, and how it reveals her own vulnerabilities.

LFB: What’s so hot about the idea of showing off? Why do you think it’s such a prevalent kink for so many men and women?

VF: It’s taboo. We have certain wonderfully erotic regions of our body that we’ve decided are supposed to be hidden most of the time. Seeing them is titillating (what a lovely word that is); we’re supposed to become aroused when we see them. I suppose in Medieval times, just seeing an ankle was considered titillating for most western cultures.

I’m not a huge exhibitionst myself, though I admit to having indulged in some public sexual escapades with partners that were very enjoyable. Even getting caught was a bit hot. It’s just that we’re not supposed to be doing it which is the naughty, arousing part.

I [have] indulged in… public sexual escapades… that were… hot.
—Virginia Flowers

LFB: I like how Erica finds a way to be a classy show-off. She doesn’t just flip a switch and turn nasty and filthy, she shows off in ways that I could show off, or any of your readers could show off. She also stands up for herself when people try to treat her as a mere sex object. She’s like the exhibitionist you could introduce to your mother, if you wanted your mother to start teasing delivery men.

Were these conscious choices as you wrote her character?

VF: Very conscious. I could have written the traditional “I like to flash and here’s my body, and yes I would be happy to smoke your sausage for you, too” sort of book. But I felt that had been done to death already, there’s plenty of stories like that out there. Erica is not a slut, just a woman who discovers she climaxes quite nicely when her naughty parts are on display.

She was raised a good Catholic girl, so sleeping around isn’t an acceptable practice. And I wanted her to continue to be a strong woman while giving in to her vulnerable sides, so I very consciously made it about her turning people on without them being allowed to touch her (other than the two lovers she meets during the course of the novel). That way she is both strong and in control, which she likes, while being able to put herself in a very vulnerable position of exposure.

LFB: It seems like she’s less wish-fulfillment erotica, and more of a reader proxy like in romantica.

VF: This is also a Romance book. While there is some sex, and its quite steamy, the novel revolves around relationships more than it does sex. If Erica focused on having sex during all her encounters, I felt it would stray from that sense of falling in love and discovering not only how to express those needs she had found in herself, but how to build a relationship that encompasses those needs..

Mr Dimples...?

I’m a charming, accomplished, artistic boatwright… but you’ve objectified me into a rugged pair of dimples. Thank you for that! Let’s go out.

LFB: You have a character, Mr. Dimples (Michael) who is mourning a broken marriage of his own. He lost his wife, who was serving the U.S. in Iraq. Some of your other stories have military themes as well, themes we often don’t get in erotica and erotic romance. Do you have some background that makes you want to especially recognize the contributions of service men and women?

VF: I served as well when I left high school. I was in the Army Reserves and worked as a medical lab technician. I also have close relatives who have served, though I feel fortunate that my family has not suffered any loss of life or limb during any of our missions overseas. I have a strong sense of pride for what those people put themselves through on a daily basis, the sacrifices those families make for the rest of us.

LFB: How long have you been writing, and do you have a grand plan for what’s coming up this year?

VF: I started writing in 8th grade. My first story was about an avalanche that crashes down on a ski resort and the brave people who rescue those who are trapped. It was a complete rip-off of a bad horror movie I had seen.

Someday I'm going to be a grown-up story about sexual discovery. Uh-oh -- avalanche!

Someday I’m going to be a grown-up story about sexual discovery. Uh-oh — avalanche!

I’d always loved writing and telling stories. I grew up in Maine, where there is still a very strong storytelling tradition, mostly humorous, and this was a big influence when I was younger. In high school my English teachers were tougher and discouraging, so I moved into the sciences and aimed for a teaching career.

Then life intruded. I went in the military, then didn’t get around to going to college for about 6 years. When I finally went back to school, I took a creative writing course for fun… and fell in love with writing all over again. Hearing people read my piece aloud in class and asking who wrote it because they loved it was a real kick. This was also early in the Internet era, and I started posting short stories of erotica to various forums and message boards.

Even though I left school without finishing (I waited until much later in life to get my degree), I continued to write stories, and in the late 90’s received an online award from what was, at that time, one of the better reviewers of erotica online, the Celestial Review. My story, Diary of a Voyeur, was named one of the Best Stories of the Month, and Best Stories of the Year.

Fuck your dreams, mommy. Fuck them.

Fuck your dreams, mommy. Fuck them.

Then life intruded again, now with family, marriage, and kids…

LFB: Don’t get me started with those things… kids. It’s like my vagina betrayed me.

VF: I discovered a year ago how easy it was to self-publish on sites like Amazon, so I dusted off my old stories and made simple covers, and well… here I am now, with my first novel under my belt. Which I’m very very very proud of, by the way.

LFB: Yes, as I said, I hate your accomplishments. I hope you’re not planning any more?

VF: I’m thinking of a follow up to Showing Off, detailing more of the developing relationship between Erica and Michael and her explorations into exhibitionism. I’m also outlining a novel about a middle aged mom who loses her job and accidentally falls into work as a prostitute to make ends meet. I’m also working on some mystery and fantasy stories, though at this point my first love is Romance.

LFB: All my hate has left me pleasantly exhausted!

Showing Off is Virginia Flowers’s new erotic romance (tons of romance, very erotic, strong female lead) and it’s out this month on Amazon for Kindle.

If you’ve ever wanted to try showing off… just follow the adventures of your new friend Erica as she tests the waters, and finds the temperature to be exactly as hot as she needs.

Visit Virginia’s blog for more developments. Also, see more of Virginia’s writing on Smutwriters.com, the magazine for erotica writers!

Sloppy Seconds: Rewriting My Early Stories

I recently got a bug up my ass, and rewrote my first four erotica stories! I’m talking 90% word replacement, people. They are fresh and new… you’ll be reading late-2012 Lindsey, not early-2012 Lindsey. The stories are now connected, and contain the growing love story between Angela and her boyfriend Tyler. They’re being edited now, and will re-launch sometime this month!

In other news, I’m done with the bug if anybody needs it.

If you want to see the reloaded early Lindsey stories, they’ll be free on Smashwords and I’ll announce their release on my mailing list. (Join it my mailing list—top right of this page!)

Here are the first versions of the new ebook covers for the “Angela’s Adventures” series. They’re just draft versions, so I’m using image comps from the fabulous 123rf stock site (hence the ‘copyright’ watermark):

Tease

My famous erotica story without sex. Now it has sex, ya’ll!

Morning

I tried to find a sexy hangover photo but couldn’t. The closest I got was abs. Abs. Abs.

Seducing

This one’s a little classier, he’s wearing a tie.

Moving

Here is Mr. Abs again, but now he’s dressed like a mover.

Alltogether

Or you can get all four at once, for the low, low price of abs. Abs. Abs. But seriously, abs.

Are these covers awesome? Nonawesome? Abs-solutely f-abs-ulous? Fail? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Young Doctor Survives Cougar Attack

I’m your new doctor, Lindsey. Why don’t you… make yourself ready for my physical exam. I’ll watch with this judging smile.
(Image credit: nyul / 123RF Stock Photo)

One sign that I’m getting old? My doctor is four years younger than me! He’s a baby!

Having a young, high-achieving doctor creates conflict in me where before I was a smooth-running machine of rationality:

  • First, I look at his practice, his testing lab, his staff, and all his patients, and I feel like I have wasted my life. Myself, I am so low-performing that I get a thrill of achievement simply by keeping my hand out of a running blender. Dr. Benton went to med school! He remembers his school books, and uses those memories! To keep people alive!
  • Second, I get to flirt with him mercilessly. I’m the dowdy old lady in the examination room who acts outraged when she catches him looking. I’m the crazy cougar with all the unsolicited and so-far unreturned flirting.

All of his employees are women—is that strange? You should see the Thank-You cards we receive from his office: his smiling, virile, masculine shape is surrounded by unacceptably wrinkled female bodies.

In a reproductive / evolutionary sense alone, I am a much better bet than his staff. I could out-breed all of those women combined, with both hands tied behind my back (and nipple clamps, why not).

I call them the crone squad, and they apparently clocked me the minute I walked in. The receptionist’s expression through the glass windows went something like: “Oh, here’s another cougar to steal our Doctor’s innocence. I must protect him by demanding proof of insurance.”

The triage nurse was also hostile:

Nurse: “Ma’am, keep your clothes on. We’re just taking your blood pressure and collecting insurance information. We have new forms for you to fill out.”

Me: “Because of Obamacare?”

Nurse: “You can keep your Spanx on, ma’am.”

Me: “Obama wouldn’t mind, trust me. I get that feeling from him.”

Nurse: “It will be easier to write if you just sit here—”

Me: “Hope and change! Vote the future!”

Nurse: “Ma’am…”

Me: “It’s no problem, really. I’ll just stretch out on this table.”

Nurse: “Ma’am, those aren’t stirrups. That’s simply a goose-neck lamp.”

Me: “Ha-ha-ha. Goose-neck! It’s like you’re trying to turn me on.”

Nurse: “Are you… spraying perfume on yourself?”

Okay, okay. I might be exaggerating. But he is young and cute, and I am older and willing to share my experience.

Dr. Benton seemed happy to have such an enthusiastic new patient. Unfortunately he has a nurse who follows him around when he talks to female clients, and there’s some insurance policy saying she has to cock-block everything.

Under her scrutiny, Dr. Benton has to be rigidly professional at every meeting. But he obviously knows me well.

Dr. Benton: “Lindsey, here’s the script for your fluoxetine, for anxiety and impulse control. Remember, this is not intravaginal.”

Me: “No? Because I don’t mind—”

Dr. Benton: “It’s not intravaginal. This next script is for inflammation. It’s low strength so you won’t be sleepy and you can still drive.”

Me: “Is it intravaginal?”

Dr. Benton: “No, Lindsey, it isn’t. Keep it out of your vagina.”

Me: “Okay. Now what’s this?”

Dr. Benton: “That’s what I check your ears with. You should give it back to me.”

His fingers brushed mine as he snatched his equipment back, so I count the visit a success.

I got more attitude on the way out. When I asked the desk clerk when my next appointment would be, she said, “He’s going to need about three months and then he’ll see you again.”

I have three months to practice. Here’s my practice exam table being delivered.
Picture copyright by danxoneil on Flickr

And (because people wonder) yes, I am an erotic romance writer. Every now and then I forget to talk about my work, my career, and my aspirations. Unless the aspiration is a young doctor.