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My newsletter is run by MailChimp, a very respectable monkey-based company. They’re free, so I love them and want to have their chimp-babies.

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You should be aware that MailChimp is connected directly to the arousal center center of my brain (don’t ask me how, Web 2.0 is frickin’ amazing). When you sign up for my newsletter, I receive a little jolt of pleasure, and also an email. Rapid, successive sign-ups cause me to make inappropriate sounds in the checkout line at WalMart. As for you, you get no pleasure. You get nothing.

Or do you?

“You smell like future sales…” —Did I say that out loud? I meant, “You smell like testosterone.”

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These newsletters are for announcements and not marketing. I won’t send too many messages because I always get flustered talking to you. It’s the way your eyes bore into mine when I get the nerve to meet them. Long story short, I won’t abuse your email. So join today and savor the complete silence.

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