My Readability list: Evidence of great confusion

This. Is. So. Hard!

This. Is. So. Hard!

Readability is the simple but agile app that lets you flag blog posts, articles, and web pages for later reading. At your leisure (and after you’ve forgotten why you flagged them) you read these stories on your computer, phone, or tablet. 

Today I reviewed my Readability list and found cause for concern. The service is not difficult to use… or so I thought until I looked at what I’d bookmarked for later study. I can only surmise that the “internet fugue Lindsey” who saved these web pages over the last few weeks is not as astute, high-functioning, and neurotypical as the current Lindsey.


  • amazon.com — Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs &…
  • Have you forgotten your password? Click here to have a new one sent to you.

  • Our Company | NG — Ideas for the Holiday Season A few exhibitions and other suggestions to visit during the Holiday Season.
  • 6 Things Really Productive People Do — massdistraction/Flickr People often ask me, amazed, how I manage to do so many things.
  • Conference Schedule 2013 — Sustainable Living and the Divided Plate, 10th annual conference, page not found
  • LCHF for beginners — Eat real food (as much as you like) and improve your health and weight
  • ADHD Study Guide (for school) ENJOY!: ADHD (hopefully useful!!!) **HOW TO FOCUS** FOLLOW ME on Instagram!
  • List open ports on your machine — August 08, 2007 netstat on Mac OS X is not linux
  • Researching the “Rape Culture” of America — Dr. Christina Hoff Sommers specializes in contemporary moral theory…
  • Kaisa Pee subscribe Youtube — Kasia Pee and 374 others liked 1 week ago – Chciałbym (Nowość, luty 2013)

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop: Dakota Gets Spanked!

Welcome to my The Next Big Thing Blog Hop, the hop where authors interview themselves about a work in progress, or a recently published work. Like most things I do to myself, I’m awesome at it. Here it goes:

Dakota Gets Spanked book cover

Coming soon: Dakota Gets Spanked!

1: What is the working title of your book?

Dakota Gets Spanked!

2: Where did the idea come from for the book?
 

I decided to go high-brow with a spanking story. I kid! I have romances and comedy stories under development, and I needed a quick dip into something lewd and lascivious to get back to my roots. Fans kept writing that they wanted to see my heroines paddled for being so naughty… so in this next ebook the naughty young Dakota is paddled like a river boat.

3: What genre does your book fall under?
  

Porn. It’s not even erotica! This is a one-act sex-play. The girl walks in, the dude spanks her. By the time he’s done spanking her, he’s no longer an alcoholic. This is raw, down and dirty, bad-girl-gets-whupped stuff, or what my gym coach called “Private Study Hall.”

4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
 

Colin Farrell... the spanker.

Colin Farrell… the spanker.

COLIN FARRELL would need to be miscast as my portly older gentleman. If he was method-acting, he could shave his head and pretend he had male pattern baldness. As long as he doesn’t touch the eyebrows, he’d still be hot.

For the naughty young girl… there are so many hollywood ingeneues who I would like to bend over a desk and punish.

Freida Pinto

Does Freida have too many teeth?

FREIDA PINTO has nice teeth but I don’t know if she’d look sexy crying.

Too fragile?

Is Keira too fragile?

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY would probably have a good, confused, lip-biting look when the spanking started.

Megan Fox

Is Megan too spankable??

MEGAN FOX—Confession time… I’d probably let her get to the casting couch. Then I’d personally give her an audition. And that audition would involve some slapping and maybe some crying. We would both be exhausted, and emotionally cleansed afterward. Neither of us would ever speak of that audition again. But I couldn’t use Megan for my story… the plot would lose all subtlety!

Christina Ricci

Christina already knows what you’re thinking. She approves.

Final choice? Who am I kidding! CHRISTINA RICCI… sexy, teasy, a little torn up, and never anything less than fascinating to watch. She is just brave and strange enough to do a one-act spanking story. Remember her as a neurotic nymphomanic in Black Snake Moan?

5: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
  

Billingham Academy has a big book of rules, and Dakota St. Millay is about to discover the one for sexy, naughty eighteen-year-old delinquents.

6: Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Lindsey’s latest hit will be published by the Lindsey, Bedder publishing firm. Which is like saying “self-published” because it’s still Lindsey… except she gets to talk about herself in the third person. The release is slated for this month of this year.

7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

As with most of my fetish efforts, I spent an inordinate amount of time doing research. Once, on vacation, I was so very naughty I needed multiple spankings, but I knew I was doing it all for my readers. And my husband. Everybody else at the Bed and Breakfast was traumatized.

8: What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

My story Dakota Gets Spanked! shares a common theme with other Amazon erotic ebooks like Jill Gets Spanked and The Naughty Babysitter gets Spanked, but it is quite different from Hannah Gets Spanked (Again).

9: Who or What inspired you to write this book?

This is for all the guys who wanted to spank me over the years. It took a while, but I finally get it! I’d thank them by name if I could, but we didn’t really have that kind of interaction, and besides, names were not allowed at The Mansion.

10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

The sub-plot is about alcoholism and redemption, but that’s only one or two sentences. The story is mostly  about the spanking, and if you want the story to really work, you have to imagine CHRISTINA RICCI wearing boy’s cut panties. Got her locked in? Good. Now add COLIN FARRELL with an itchy hand.

Who is next?

This blog hop might be winding down. I am supposed to designate who will carry on The Next Big Thing Blog Hop next week… but I think the erotica world is running out of authors! I have a few friends I can tap and if they agree, I will list them below.

Sloppy Seconds: Rewriting My Early Stories

I recently got a bug up my ass, and rewrote my first four erotica stories! I’m talking 90% word replacement, people. They are fresh and new… you’ll be reading late-2012 Lindsey, not early-2012 Lindsey. The stories are now connected, and contain the growing love story between Angela and her boyfriend Tyler. They’re being edited now, and will re-launch sometime this month!

In other news, I’m done with the bug if anybody needs it.

If you want to see the reloaded early Lindsey stories, they’ll be free on Smashwords and I’ll announce their release on my mailing list. (Join it my mailing list—top right of this page!)

Here are the first versions of the new ebook covers for the “Angela’s Adventures” series. They’re just draft versions, so I’m using image comps from the fabulous 123rf stock site (hence the ‘copyright’ watermark):

Tease

My famous erotica story without sex. Now it has sex, ya’ll!

Morning

I tried to find a sexy hangover photo but couldn’t. The closest I got was abs. Abs. Abs.

Seducing

This one’s a little classier, he’s wearing a tie.

Moving

Here is Mr. Abs again, but now he’s dressed like a mover.

Alltogether

Or you can get all four at once, for the low, low price of abs. Abs. Abs. But seriously, abs.

Are these covers awesome? Nonawesome? Abs-solutely f-abs-ulous? Fail? I’d love to hear your thoughts…