Free eBook with a new Lindsey story!

Cover for The Full Girlfriend Experience

“The Full Girlfriend Experience” is part of the Short Smut, Vol 1 anthology!! Woo-hoo!
(Cover photo: © the astonishing Can Büyükkalkan.)

Questions:

  1. Do you have a constant need for sexual gratification, like me?
  2. Do you have a very short attention span, like me?
  3. Do you impulse-buy everything so you never have extra cash, like me?
  4. Do you want a super-sexy book cover on your Kindle, like me?

If you said “yes” to four or more of the above, you might just be me. In the event that you are not me, take a look at “Short Smut,” a free erotic-romance ebook on Smashwords!

The Smutwriters are a group of ninja-grade erotic romance writers. We write an online magazine every week. If you’re into writing, or smut, or even just clicking links while making “bloop bloop” sounds, you should visit.

Each of us Smutwriters contributed a short story to Short Smut. The result is an amazing collection of stories with sex and an amazing amount of romance. Best of all, it’s free! Download it for PDF, Kindle, and other ebook readers today! It’s a click away! Bloop bloop!

Question: If it’s so free, how come it’s free?
Answer: Volume! 

My story in the ebook is The Full Girlfriend Experience—a dangerous road trip into a forbidden sexual world. Beautiful Lorelei is tempted and taunted by her domineering boyfriend into selling herself for gas money. Spoiler alert: she loves it. Spoiler #2: the story has a French guy!

Here’s a longer description of the free ebook.

Short Smut, Volume 1Short Smut (Vol. 1)

Six working erotic writers pool together their special stories—stories too vivid, too short, too personal, or too wild to fit into longer projects. These tales veer through dominance, addiction, prostitution, orgies, vampire seduction, and all-out blistering sex. When the dust settles, the sweet, surprising heartbeat underlying every story is—love.

There are a thousand ways to be in love:

  • Wyle and Melissa almost lose everything to obsession.
  • Ari and Siobhan explore possession, sharing, and submission.
  • Chris and Nick break up, but the romance never stops.
  • Ben and Adair find love in four minutes—but it takes a few months.
  • Maria anchors her otherworldly lover, Jamie, to her body.
  • Lorelei passionately loves every man she meets—the money is a bonus.

The SmutWriters invite you to an evening’s bubble-bath of: Internet dating gone wrong. Emotionally complicated movie stars. Seedy bus stations full of rumpled, horny men. One-percenter orgies in opulent mansions. Girls accidentally seducing vampires. Teasing temp workers. French soldiers with chiseled torsos and killer accents. Sexy girlfriends willing to be shared at costume parties. A man afraid of commitment, and the man who won’t let him go.

FemDom, BDSM, Supernatural, Prostitution, Rough Sex, Group Sex, Anal, M/M, M/F, MM+/FF+ —all of it leading back to love. This is erotica with a romantic heart and an erection.

Download the book for free today!

(Or, if you’re a crazy person, you can wait and buy my story on Amazon later…)

Young Doctor Survives Cougar Attack

I’m your new doctor, Lindsey. Why don’t you… make yourself ready for my physical exam. I’ll watch with this judging smile.
(Image credit: nyul / 123RF Stock Photo)

One sign that I’m getting old? My doctor is four years younger than me! He’s a baby!

Having a young, high-achieving doctor creates conflict in me where before I was a smooth-running machine of rationality:

  • First, I look at his practice, his testing lab, his staff, and all his patients, and I feel like I have wasted my life. Myself, I am so low-performing that I get a thrill of achievement simply by keeping my hand out of a running blender. Dr. Benton went to med school! He remembers his school books, and uses those memories! To keep people alive!
  • Second, I get to flirt with him mercilessly. I’m the dowdy old lady in the examination room who acts outraged when she catches him looking. I’m the crazy cougar with all the unsolicited and so-far unreturned flirting.

All of his employees are women—is that strange? You should see the Thank-You cards we receive from his office: his smiling, virile, masculine shape is surrounded by unacceptably wrinkled female bodies.

In a reproductive / evolutionary sense alone, I am a much better bet than his staff. I could out-breed all of those women combined, with both hands tied behind my back (and nipple clamps, why not).

I call them the crone squad, and they apparently clocked me the minute I walked in. The receptionist’s expression through the glass windows went something like: “Oh, here’s another cougar to steal our Doctor’s innocence. I must protect him by demanding proof of insurance.”

The triage nurse was also hostile:

Nurse: “Ma’am, keep your clothes on. We’re just taking your blood pressure and collecting insurance information. We have new forms for you to fill out.”

Me: “Because of Obamacare?”

Nurse: “You can keep your Spanx on, ma’am.”

Me: “Obama wouldn’t mind, trust me. I get that feeling from him.”

Nurse: “It will be easier to write if you just sit here—”

Me: “Hope and change! Vote the future!”

Nurse: “Ma’am…”

Me: “It’s no problem, really. I’ll just stretch out on this table.”

Nurse: “Ma’am, those aren’t stirrups. That’s simply a goose-neck lamp.”

Me: “Ha-ha-ha. Goose-neck! It’s like you’re trying to turn me on.”

Nurse: “Are you… spraying perfume on yourself?”

Okay, okay. I might be exaggerating. But he is young and cute, and I am older and willing to share my experience.

Dr. Benton seemed happy to have such an enthusiastic new patient. Unfortunately he has a nurse who follows him around when he talks to female clients, and there’s some insurance policy saying she has to cock-block everything.

Under her scrutiny, Dr. Benton has to be rigidly professional at every meeting. But he obviously knows me well.

Dr. Benton: “Lindsey, here’s the script for your fluoxetine, for anxiety and impulse control. Remember, this is not intravaginal.”

Me: “No? Because I don’t mind—”

Dr. Benton: “It’s not intravaginal. This next script is for inflammation. It’s low strength so you won’t be sleepy and you can still drive.”

Me: “Is it intravaginal?”

Dr. Benton: “No, Lindsey, it isn’t. Keep it out of your vagina.”

Me: “Okay. Now what’s this?”

Dr. Benton: “That’s what I check your ears with. You should give it back to me.”

His fingers brushed mine as he snatched his equipment back, so I count the visit a success.

I got more attitude on the way out. When I asked the desk clerk when my next appointment would be, she said, “He’s going to need about three months and then he’ll see you again.”

I have three months to practice. Here’s my practice exam table being delivered.
Picture copyright by danxoneil on Flickr

And (because people wonder) yes, I am an erotic romance writer. Every now and then I forget to talk about my work, my career, and my aspirations. Unless the aspiration is a young doctor.