Scordamaglia Oops!

Nominated for Emmeline’s Possé! You need to sit down for this. Then put a pillow in your lap to catch your jaw. Jenny Scordamaglia is a model/reporter for Miami TV (here is their Youtube channel, with 372 videos) who grew up in Colombia and apparently never developed body shame like I did.

Jenny Scordamaglia interviews two indifferent men

Jenny Scordamaglia interviews two indifferent men

Night after night, she strolls around in flimsy, showy outfits that reveal most of her tan, lovely skin. Skin which should rightfully be mine. She interviews men and women, nightclub patrons, celebrities, museum curators, you name it. She does highly public interviews on the street, chats up people at concerts—all while her clothes slide off, gape open, curtain apart, or flip up over her ass.

It’s as if a dozen horny teenage boys
with telekinetic powers are
watching from offscreen.

Most amazingly, none of her subjects seem to get distracted by her ridiculous outfits. She’s not ogled, groped, or assaulted. She’s chirpy, funny, and engaging. She’s a charmer who could captivate you in a turtleneck.

Takeaway message: Jenny demonstrates how to be ridiculously showy but not slutty. Next time you want to wear your American Apparel dress without a bra, just remember Jenny and the other members of Emmeline’s Possé, and know it can be done.

Pro life tip:
Wear one of Jenny’s blouses to the grocery store
for a  good cardio workout while you shop!
(Assuming your heart doesn’t explode from anxiety.)

Here is a a safe-for-work but not-safe-for-dropping-jaws video of one of Jenny’s interviews:

 

Follow-up from April 2013: She’s still at it!

Jenny Scordamaglia is oops-alicious. Turns out she does this a lot!

Jenny Scordamaglia is oops-alicious. Turns out she does this a lot!

So if I’m blonde do I need to edit my writing?

Photo credit: yimmy149 @ facebook

I’m cute. Buy my porn?
(Photo credit: yimmy149 @ facebook)

My philosophy is, if you can look good in an author profile pic, you don’t need to edit your erotica. To look good, you have to:

  • stretch out on bed so your stomach doesn’t bulge
  • tilt your head back so your chin doesn’t double up
  • hug your chest so your breasts pop
  • hold the camera steady at 80% cleavage, 10% lips, 10% messy bedroom

Result: pure sexiness. Watch out, Dora, we have a new explora!

Read more to learn my awesome approach to editing… Continue reading

Where’s Lindsey?

Hello you wonderful readers!

For the last week I haven’t posted to my blog, and I miss our time together! You’re all so smart and charming, not like the readers of other blogs. You know, I heard a rumor from Google that you’ve been seeing other blogs, but I just don’t believe it—you’re too good for that. They won’t cherish you like I cherish you.

Question: Why am I posting less often? Answer: Picture of a girl in short-shorts after the jump…  Continue reading