Trapper and Emmeline — Book Trailer

Brought to you by female insecurity and a New Amsterdam martini: a story of love, romance, and depravity to span the ages! Here’s how most movie trailers start: In a world… Here’s how mine starts: Tristan and Iseult. Thank you for nothing, English Literature knowledge. Why don’t you go have sex with a Vespa Repair manual.

Behold the Trapper and Emmeline book trailer!

Director’s commentary after the leap… Continue reading

Proofer’s marks for editing erotica

Erotica and erotic romance writers, chances are you have proofed your novels at some point. If you’re like me, it was probably just after submitting them to Amazon or Smashwords. When proofing, how do you indicate that a character is not moist enough? Or needs longer hair?

Proofer’s marks for erotica to the rescue!

Proofer's marks for erotica and erotic romance.

Proofer’s marks for erotica and erotic romance.

Bigger version.

The DH put these together when I started obsessing too frequently, and too vocally, about revising Trapper and Emmeline. (Have I mentioned Trapper and Emmeline? Now available for Kindle on Amazon—it’s a romantic and depraved love story for the ages! Click here to visit the Amazon page.)

I’d also like to take this opportunity to mention Trapper and Emmeline. I am super-excited about this book!

Does anybody else use custom proofer’s marks for their genre?

Trapper and Emmeline—Launched!

Launching for Kindle!

Trapper and Emmeline (ebook edition for Kindle) is in Amazon’s hands now! It will go live on either Sunday or Monday, because after they read the story they will be too emotional to hit the ‘publish’ button for 12-48 hours. Now live on Amazon for Kindle—purchase or borrow. Click here to get to the Amazon page. 

Producing this book was exactly like being pregnant, down to the stretch marks, the weird food cravings, and the mucus plug (you do not want to watch me write). Finally kicking this book out of the house was exactly like giving birth. It took a lot of screaming, and I had to stop to cook breakfast for my living kids.

Trapper and Emmeline is about two smart-ass college kids who fall in love with each other, and slowly invent a new way to be in love. The big question in my life is whether romance can be sweet and sordid: I think it can… but I’ve never found the right way. I wanted to write a romantic and depraved love story, and the result is a funny, cautionary tale about the war between insatiable passion and enduring romance.

Prologue: Emmeline in a Snapshot

She holds my hand as we leave class. We step into a brisk summer breeze.

Her dress is barely legal. Too short on her ass by an inch, too low in her chest by two more. Thin enough to be almost sheer when she enters the full sunlight streaming between the buildings. With her next to me, Manhattan seems light and friendly, full of airy promise.

I glance at her and my heart bolts in my chest. The fabric of her dress dances around her legs. It wraps over her torso like a plastic bag blown up against a Greek statue. She doesn’t notice the people gawking at her in the street. She’s too busy telling me she aced her exam.

She’s happy.

Manhattan loves her.

Editing for Brevity, or Baby Killing

Bored reader

Pictured: A bored reader. (Not you.)

I’m editing my latest project, and feeling good about it… when suddenly I read this post from CopyBlogger: 11 Ways to Bore the Boots Off Your Readers. (Step 1: Find readers wearing boots. Haha, I kid.) It is about writing blog posts and marketing blurbs, but it could work for narrative prose too.

It is full of convincing advice specifically designed to freak me out about my writing. When I calmed down, I saw that some of the advice is questionable. Make your post about one single thing? Keep your sentences short? Not so sure about that. It’s worth a critical read because there are unassailably awesome tips too:

Do you know about Shakespeare’s copywriting technique for grabbing reader attention?

Shakespeare misused words. He used nouns as verbs: he godded me. And adjectives as verbs: thick my blood. This technique surprises and “wakes up” the brain.

You can also use an unexpected word instead of a familiar word in a common phrase. For instance: Clothes don’t maketh the woman. Using an unexpected word has the same effect as misusing words.

Saying something unexpected jolts the brain into paying attention: a subtle, but neurologically proven trick.

When you finish reading, revel in the “I’m doing it wrong” feeling for a while (humility is always useful). Then go see what the smart-asses over at Reddit have to say: 5 Ways to Bore the Boots Off Your Borderline-Illiterate Audience. Let’s just say they… take issue… with some of the recommendations. The truth probably lies somewhere in between. 

Baby killing after the jump… Continue reading

I fail to keep up, and blog about it

Effective at multitasking, awesome at late-night parties.

When I started writing, rewriting and self-publishing erotica and erotic romance stories, I had no idea it would be so addictive. All my other projects are falling to the side, and I’m starting to feel massive, Catholic-level guilt about all the things I promised people and didn’t deliver. Promising-and-failing is nothing new for me, except now I’m medicated and I don’t have an excuse. People, as well as pharmaceutical companies, are relying on me to be responsible!

Me getting ready to work out. (Pictured: Not me.)

Almost the only thing I’m not shirking are the fireman workouts (see my earlier post). I’m very committed to watching them exercise. They call it “spotting.” I call it standing very close with my hands on their bodies, screaming abuse at them. In all seriousness, I do lift sometimes too, if only so they don’t ask why I’m always there. After only just a few weeks, my DH has noticed a difference in me. No new muscles or anything, I’ve just been very frisky.

More after the jump… Continue reading