Self-editing tips to read daily

That's me!

What is this stick thing in my hand!?

I promise I will read this daily! Lynette Labelle gives amazingly good editing advice over at her blog post The Editor’s Dozen: Common Mistakes Writers Make.

Using too many exclamation points: Not guilty!!!! I had to stop doing smilies too, so people would take my professional correspondence more seriously, lol! I still do lol though. That makes me seem more mature.

Repeated words: guilty, guilty! Writers need a MS Word macro that can highlight words that are repeated too frequently on a page (though not stopwords like “the,” “and,” “or,” etc). I would love for someone to write this macro for me! I will pay with the only currency I have, inappropriate flirtation.

Poor comma usage: Not guilty, sir!

Those are the easy ones. For some of the other common mistakes, I may as well be blind! Flip-flopping verb tenses, action/reaction blunders, non-specifics, buried dialog. It goes on and on, a horrifying list of my biggest challenges as a writer. One thing that’s missing: too many italics. When I get tired, my characters stress words like Valley Girls.

My personal worst writer’s mistake is began/started. Lynette writes:

Began/started: For the most part, your characters never have to begin or start something. They can just do it. Rather than saying Emily began to shake, say Emily shook. This makes the writing tighter and more active.

I apparently have a strong timeline fetish in my erotica writing, because I need to write when each thing commences! I will begin to stop doing that! When I take out the began/started text, the story pacing improves and the narrative becomes clearer. I have a began/started reminder sticky on my desk. Great read for self-editing writers!

Via The Editor’s Dozen: Common Mistakes Writers Make.

Romance novels! LOLOL!! LOL… LOL?

Unintentionally funny romance covers

Unintentionally Funny Romance Novel Cover

In the few tranquil moments of a busy, distractible life, I’ve been thinking about what makes erotica erotica. Two pioneers who greatly influenced the field—Anaïs Nin and Henry Miller—are probably sex-gods to lots of us writers.

It’s been mumble mumble years since a boyfriend first read them to me to get me to sleep with him. But I remember the Nin stories as being brief and interlude-y, while the Miller stuff is a book-length series of adventures that go nowhere (reflecting the growing nihilism of the times?).

But what if you like characters? What if you like development, progression, change? The best comedy is character-driven character, not one-liners—that’s why The Office and Modern Family easily beat out hundreds of forgettable sitcoms. Wouldn’t this rule apply for erotica too?

I’m starting to think I’m not an erotica writer, but an erotic romance writer. Ugh! Romance! —But is that really so bad?

Read on for a brief review of erotica writer Lexi Maxxwell’s awesome erotic short Swallowing Secrets 1, after which I get a little flustered, and then try to compare male vs female romance genres. Continue reading

Question for the ages: Are You Too Old For Dry Humping?

I was searching for subway-stranger-sex pictures, because I had just finished writing a long scene where my character Carol has a depraved adventure in a crowded NYC subway car. I found a great picture, and this erotica story. I thought I was being an inventive erotica writer, but nope! It goes to show that every great idea you have, someone else has already had sex with it.

The Sexy Commuter” is a fun, short read about hijinks on the subway! The Naked With Socks On blog has a “Wet Wednesdays” fiction series, only I didn’t know that the first time I read it. So I have to admit that I was initially shocked… then a little flustered… then a little turned on.

The story asks: Are you too old for dry humping? Are we ever too old for dry humping? It’s the commuter’s last innocent pleasure. It seems to me that a woman can rub up against a stranger accidentally, discover a mutual attraction, follow the agreeable path that suggests itself to their minds—and still be a faithful spouse. My spouse wouldn’t care. Possibly. I’d tell him: “Hey honey, it’s just slow-dancing, when you get down to it.” Or maybe I’m rationalizing. 🙂

Here is a brief excerpt. For the full sexy story, visit Naked With Socks On:

Image

As the train made a sharp turn on the tracks Ms. Corporate Swag swayed and her plump applebottom brushed up against me. I immediately felt that familiar rush of blood coursing through my veins and taking residence in the chambers of my dick. Our accidental body contact aroused me and I found myself standing their hard as a rock.

I tried to flood my mind with nonsexual thoughts in an attempt to temper my carnal spirit, but the train jerked once again and Ms. Corporate Swag’s fine ass once again made contact with my crotch.

I was embarrassed.

Hopefully, she’ll assume it was just my belt buckle or perhaps she didn’t notice. Whatever the case, I didn’t want her to think I was some pervert so I stared up at the ceiling trying once again to quell the raging fire that was brewing within my pants.

The train jerked yet again and Ms. Corporate Swag’s ass aligned with my rock hard cock again, but when the train swayed in the other direction she didn’t move away.

Maybe in the mass of bodies she didn’t realize how close she was to me and my hardened manhood. My back was against the doors and there was no way that I could retreat any further than I was already. I tried to think of Barney, Bert & Ernie, Big Bird, anything that would help make my erection subside but all I could feel was this perfectly round ass, wrapped in a thin layer of wool pants, against my cock.

That’s when it happened.

A surge of blood rushed to my dick and it hiccupped, inadvertently pressing me against her. I swore I was in for a barrage of curse words and embarrassment, but if I didn’t know better, that was when Ms. Corporate Swag actually leaned in deeper to my cock.

The Sexy Commuter (Are You Too Old For Dry Humping?) – Naked With Socks On | Naked With Socks On.

10 Hilarious Statistics Charts about Sex

The data-happy folks over at the okcupid.com blog always do interesting analyses of their users by pulling data from the user profiles. So in an earlier post when I asked how many women vs men enjoy the particular themes of my stories (showing off), okcupid.com is probably the place to answer that question!

Among the findings — read through womens’ profile essays. If the essay contains words like “obsessed,” “piercings,” “religion,” “dork,” “undergrad” — they tend to like rough sex. If you’re not looking for rough sex, find essays with words like “england,” “dining,” “gardening,” “sincere.”

Other lessons learned:

  • Which spiritual denomination lies the least about masturbating? The nonspiritual one: Atheism. And if you’re a male atheist, you’re apparently very busy whenever you’re alone.
  • City College of NY is the cheapest university where students desire the most sex per week. Time for that second degree!
  • If someone is vegetarian, they’re gonna tell you at some point. They just can’t keep it to themselves. 😉 Now when they tell you they’re vegetarian, you can figure the odds of whether they enjoy oral sex or not. Vegetarians need protein too!

My vegetarian/vegan friends are awesome. Here is the proof.

More fun charts at the OkTrends OkCupid Blog.

Scene from Lindsey Seduces the Cigar Party

Hijinks on the subway….

I’ve been working on a new longer story, about how higher education corrupted an innocent young college girl. I wrote an amazing scene on a subway ride, where Carol blows away her boyfriend by demonstrating how she used to… um… pleasure herself during the commute. It is jaw dropping and amazing and sexy (IMHO) but I lost my nerve… it’s my new baby! What if it needs more time before I throw it into the world? So that will be coming up soon.

I am blogging every one or two days, so visit often!

Lindsey Seduces the Cigar Party

This is a scene from my story “Lindsey Seduces the Cigar Party” (available on Amazon, Smashwords, and Barnes and Noble). From the back cover:

Tyler is going to a men-only Cigar Party, and his friend Lindsey invites herself along. As part of the deal she promises to be a sexy, captivating tease — and dresses accordingly, in a club dress that is illegal in most jurisdictions. But the not-there dress is just the start…

In this scene, Lindsey and Tyler introduce the dress to a room full of sharp-dressed, wealthy, imposing cigar aficionados.

Story after the jump… Continue reading